If there’s anything that I know how to do – it’s faking confidence.
Growing up, I was never confident. While everyone has their insecurities, I’ve always had an extreme lack of confidence when it came to my abilities. I never thought I was good enough to achieve my goals. In high school, I doubted my ability to get into the Universities I wanted (despite having the marks). Once I got accepted, I doubted my abilities to keep those acceptances (which I did). Once I got into University, I strongly doubted I’d be able to get into the major that I wanted (I didn’t get my first choice, but it was still on of my top 3)..Towards the end of University, I strong doubted that I’d be able to get a job. These are just a few examples.
This unfortunately was pretty visible to those who were close to me. Especially to someone like my boyfriend – who gets the unfiltered version of me.
At a party, my boyfriend’s friends asked him if there was one thing he had to change about me, what would it be?
His answer was that he would make me more confident. I personally thought this was a really nice answer to a question that could have easily started a fight haha.. and maybe he was just trying to make me look good, but he’s definitely right – I need more self confidence.
I was fortunate enough to work straight out of University. At 21 years old, I was working at a firm surrounded my professionals with decades of experience, expensive cars, and customers who were primarily planning for retirement or already comfortably retired($$). Being so young, there was already so much doubt put upon me, not just by my colleagues, but even my potential clients. It was especially important for me at that point in my life, that my colleagues & clients didn’t see this lack of confidence in me. If they could sense my self – doubt, why on earth would they trust me to do business with? if I can’t even trust myself? This job truly taught me how to fake confidence, aka “Fake it till you make it.” and it’s something I’ve been using everyday since.
- Make a Good First Impression – Looks Do Matter
A part of faking confidence, is making sure you come off looking professional. I know we live in a society where we want to believe that it’s 2018 – looks don’t matter. But I’m sorry, in the work force – looks DO matter, whether we like it or not. I’m not saying that your future career will be decided by your pants size or whether you have a nice nose or a flat asian nose like mine.. BUT first impressions DO stay, and I can’t stress the importance of making sure you appear put together. If you have a pet – invest in a lint roller & remove all that fur from your black turtleneck. If you had your nails done three weeks ago – make sure you either redo your nails or get some nail polish remover. If you didn’t have a chance to wash your hair – girl, put it in a bun or use some dry shampoo. If someone hasn’t had the chance to know you for your personality or for your skills & capabilities, all they can judge you off of is unfortunately your appearance. When I personally see someone who looks clean & sleek – it screams out to me professionalism & confidence.
2. Remember, they hired you for a reason
I often fall into this never ending cycle of self-doubt. Why am I here? Do I deserve this position? Can I do well? What if they realize they made a mistake in hiring me?
REMEMBER! They hired you for a reason! They saw something in you & now it’s all in YOUR control on how you want them to continue viewing you.
3. Look Good > Feel good > Perform Well
I’ve mentioned this before, but days when I wake up feeling less confident than usual/ less motivated..I make sure to put in the extra effort on my appearance that day. Personally, if I don’t feel that I look good, I don’t feel good & so I don’t perform well. By giving yourself the time to do what you need – you’ll feel better – perform better, which helps to create real self confidence.
Whether it’s putting on lipstick for the day, getting your nails done, wearing your favourite jacket – do whatever you need to do. Things that I personally do when I need a bit of a boost that day is:
- I’ll wear heels
- Maybe some coloured contacts (never hurts to change up your look)
- If I’m feeling insecure about coming off too young – I’ll wear glasses to appear older
- Spray on some Chanel
- Listen to Miss Independent by Neyo while I’m getting ready (LOL I’m not even joking)
I’m the last person that should advise someone to walk with better posture – because I have AWFUL posture..but hey it’s something I’m actively working on. The way we walk, reflects on how we carry ourselves.
5. Don’t Speak About the Things You Can’t Do
Nobody needs to know about your lack of knowledge about a topic, or what skills you lack in. It’s not all about what you can or can not do, but really more of what people think you can or cannot do.
6. Speak Slower
I’ve always admired how one of my colleagues always comes across so professional. I realized a big reason for this was because she is such an articulate speaker. She always speaks calmly & slowly – and this made me realize how quickly I spoke. It’s also good to speak slowly since it gives you more time to actually think about what you’re going to say – and more often than not you’re still speaking a lot quicker than you think.
7. Drink Coffee, Listen to Gangster Rap & Handle it
No joke – I do this almost every morning lol. I’ll get my morning coffee – blast music in my car on the way to my first meeting & really just pump myself up. The energy you give off is so important & so contagious.
Three years later, I’m definitely still not as confident as I’d like to be. However, I can say that doing these things everyday, has helped me slowly improve that confidence. I hope this was somewhat helpful to you & if you have any tips- I’d love to hear them!! Also, if you like these work related blogs, let me know!